If you read the title (“Yes, Blessings can come from Cancer”) to this blog post, you have probably thought to yourself that I have either lost my mind or I am headed to the “clueless and clearly insane” ward. How in the world could I think that something like blessings and joy could possibly come out of something so dreadful as a cancer trial? Well, before I get into some examples of how cancer may bring blessings and joy, please let me first explain where my motivation for this first Cancer Support Chronicles blog post came from….
First of all, I do not make this sort of statement (“Yes, blessings can come from Cancer”) without a lot of thought, reflection and, most importantly, prayer. To provide you with a brief history of my cancer story, I was first diagnosed with rectal cancer on Thursday January 11, 2007. I will never forget that day! I was officially a pain in the butt, something I knew was true my whole life, and now this diagnosis was being confirmed by the doctors. Seriously, 4,057 days have passed since I was told on my cell phone that I had the “Big C” and I can still tell you the time of day I received the call, what was said in that call when my surgeon called me and how I immediately started to cry in my office after I hung up the phone. Since I thought at the time that no one wants to see a grown man cry, I literally ran out of the building in Akron where I was working that day and drove home with my head spinning and my heart pounding. I was so upset that I did not go back to work until the following week. I did have an appointment at the Cleveland Clinic the next day. It is interesting how you will clear your schedule when you are given a cancer diagnosis and you need to see the doctor immediately. Needless to say, all the business appointments I had on that Friday were cancelled so I could head to the Cleveland Clinic. After I made it home from Akron, I remember how difficult it was to tell Kristina, my parents, Kristina’s parents as well as my close family and friends that I had cancer. It is a very humbling experience as you have to admit to your wife, family and friends that you have cancer and your life will never be the same again. I will never forget the look on Kristina’s face when I told her that I have cancer – I was shaking when I told her and the tears that followed from both of us is a moment I will never forget. January 11, 2007 was one of the most emotional days I have ever experienced in my lifetime.
Not only was I on an emotional roller coaster that day, I was also fretting about the fact that getting cancer was not part of “MY PLAN” for “MY LIFE”. I was getting ready to start a new job, and I had the resignation letter already typed out (dated 2-1-07) to my electric utility employer at the time. I wasn’t ready for something to interfere with my career plans. In addition to my job change expectations, Kristina and I had recently decided to start a family in our 7th year of marriage. We were just beginning to “try” and we were both excited about what the future might bring. We had big plans for the 40th year of my life and to be honest cancer was just not part of those plans. Well, cancer is never part of anyone’s plans. It is an assignment I was given but never asked for. Little did I know that God did have BIG plans for my life – His plans were just radically different than MY PLANS. Proverbs 16:9 tell us “A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” I will return to His plans later in my blog post, but I want to finish the story about what motivated me to write this post.
By the time January 11th 2007 started to draw to a close, I was worn out and emotionally and physically distraught. I cannot remember anything else in my lifetime that consumed my thinking as much as my first cancer diagnosis did. I just could not get it off my mind – it was taking control of my mind and not in a good way. As we reflected on the events of the day and my appointment the next day at The Cleveland Clinic, Kristina and I did not know what else to do other than pray about my situation and ask God for His help. While we were praying, Kristina suggested we read James 1:2-3 which states “Consider it pure joy my brothers when you face trials of many kinds as you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance”. Since it brought me so much comfort and some level of peace, I was thankful that Kristina suggested James 1:2-3 to read that day and it eventually became my “go-to” or signature verse(s) during my cancer trial. In the 4,057 days which have passed since I was first diagnosed with cancer, I have pondered that verse in James almost every day. God has also helped me better understand the meaning of this verse by exposing me to others who are way smarter and more insightful than I will ever be. How these friends, family members and acquaintances have responded to challenges, particularly cancer challenges, far greater than mine have humbled, motivated and encouraged me in ways I never thought were possible? When God put it on my heart to choose this verse back in 2007, I had no idea that I would be writing a blog post on it 11 years later. Yes, James 1:2-3 is my inspiration and motivation for my initial blog post in the Cancer Support Chronicles.
Psalm 138:2 tells us: For you have exalted above all things your name and your word. Psalm 138:2 is very clear – there is no gray area here at all - there is nothing greater anywhere on earth or beyond than God’s word, which is given to us in the bible. Psalm 119:105 tell us “Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.” His word has provided me with the light and a path to publish this blog post today.
To help you understand my complete cancer story, I was also diagnosed with Melanoma in 2011. While it was a much less traumatic treatment process that my rectal cancer treatment plan, Melanoma is one of the nastiest forms of cancer around as there are limited treatment options for it in the more advanced stages. My first cancer trial taught me a lot about God’s plan for me life so being diagnosed the 2nd time was much easier, but that does not mean it was any less scary. Psalm 138:8 tell us: “The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands.” One of the things I learned from my first cancer trial was that God had a purpose in my 2nd cancer trial and I needed to trust in His perfect plan. I had two surgeries on my face, where the cancer was located, and my face will always have a scar because of the surgeries. Thankfully, I also knew that the 2nd Cancer would make me even more effective in the CSG ministry. I was blessed again with a good outcome but, during that 2nd trial, I started intensely studying James 1:2-3 again, which was a huge blessing to me at the time. My 2nd cancer also helped further improve my understanding of these important verses in James. Between my two cancers, I endured twelve surgeries, missed five months of work, I have three major scars, and I have to take two narcotics daily to keep from going to the bathroom (#2) too much. Cancer has definitely left an imprint on my body, meaning what is written in this blog truly comes from my heart.
Well, enough about me. This blog post is not intended to be about me. Instead, this post is intended to be about those individuals who I have observed over the past 11 years who continually give praise to God in the midst of their cancer trial(s). Not only do they give praise to God, but I have also observed how these individuals are extremely grateful for the blessings and moments of joy which God provides to them throughout their cancer trials. For obvious confidentiality reasons, I will purposefully not mention the real names of those I am referring to but I am going to do my very best as an amateur blogger to summarize their stories of God’s blessings and the resulting joy He can provide in the midst of a difficult cancer trial. I believe sharing these stories will be helpful for individuals with cancer as well as those of us who continually face trials of all kinds in our daily lives.
Where would I make all these cancer observations I am referring to? Well, I have the humbling privilege of being the volunteer Ministry Coordinator for the Cancer Support Group (“CSG”) at a non-denominational church on the eastside of Cleveland, Ohio. The mission of our CSG is to see those impacted by cancer become committed followers of Jesus Christ. There are lots of support groups out there but our group is focused on being a Christian ministry. I have attended CSG since first being diagnosed back in January of 2007 and have been leading the group as Ministry Coordinator for at least 8 of those years. By participating in CSG, I am truly grateful to God that I have had the unique opportunity to minister to hundreds of people impacted by cancer. I have been able to visit our CSG members in their homes, hospital and hospice rooms more times than I can possibly remember. Cancer is everywhere, and I get at least 1,000 cancer related emails, texts, FB messages, letters and phone calls every year. I have also been to the funeral home dozens of times, and I even had the unique privilege of speaking at one celebration of life funeral service in 2017. Ministering to people with cancer has become part of my daily routine, and I am extremely grateful and thankful for this unbelievable privilege. As a two-time cancer survivor (2007 & 2011), the individuals I am able to minister to with cancer have an instant connection and bond with me as I have walked in their shoes before and can empathize with their position. God has gifted me with an ability to get people to open up and confide in me about their cancer struggles. I believe that God orchestrated the steps of my life to put me in the position I am today, and I cannot emphasize enough how grateful I am for this humbling and amazing privilege. So many people spend their whole life looking for their calling in life, and I have found mine via what many would call the most unpleasant of circumstances. I have a great team of volunteers at our CSG, and I am indebted to them for their service to me and to our CSG members. Of course, my favorite CSG team member is Kristina who does so much work for this CSG ministry that I cannot possibly communicate it effectively here today. She is the true CSG workhorse who blesses so many of our members daily. The phone calls, letters and texts she sends out daily to love and support our CSG members is something she is uniquely gifted at. Kristina is a selfless servant to our CSG members. She has a much better memory than I will ever have which enables her to follow-up with texts and emails asking how the oncologist appointment went that day or have you received the results from your PET scan or pathology report yet? Making our members feel loved and cared for is so very important and Kristina is a huge reason why we are as effective as we are.
So, with all of that as an introduction, I would like to point out the first blessing, which is my (Kristina too) opportunity to participate and serve in the CSG ministry. I would not be able to serve as effectively as I am able to if I was not blessed with having survived Cancer two times. Because serving others helps take your mind off of your own issues and trials, I feel I have been blessed more by serving in CSG than what I have been able to give back to those I have had the privilege to serve. This CSG ministry has humbled me and helped me to grow more in my faith in God than I could ever possibly imagine. Because of the encouraging feedback I have received from so many people I trust, I have come to find out that the CSG ministry is a unique calling for me from God. It has become one of my true passions in life which I am truly grateful for. I think about the CSG group constantly and have become consumed with it at times. Kristina thinks it may eventually become a full-time ministry for me at some point in my life. Even though cancer is the primary reason Kristina and I were not able to have children, it has become obvious to me that it was not part of the Lord’s plan for us to have children. I would be lying if this void in our lives did not make me sad. However, I basically have two choices – I can either get angry and negatively dwell on my perceived void (no children) in our lives or be thankful for the many blessings which God has so graciously bestowed upon us. I also know that not having children has freed up more of my time to focus on CSG. I know that God’s plan is perfect for me and, if I continue to trust in it, He will bring me more joy than I could ever possibly imagine. Jerimiah 29: 11- 13 tells us:
"11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
I never wanted to lead CSG as Ministry Coordinator. I was sort-of forced into the role when the prior leader left unexpectedly. After finding out that I had been promoted to the role of Ministry Coordinator, I must admit that I was scared to death to lead the group. At the time I did not think I was qualified to lead. Even though I reluctantly agreed to the role, I can now see that being Ministry Coordinator for CSG is part of God’s plan for my life. I could have fought God but chose not to which has allowed me to experience a calling in my life which I never knew was possible. Remember what Isaiah 41:13 says: “For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not fear; I will help you.” I could not do this ministry or write this blog post without God’s help.
We have a male member at CSG who I will refer to as Vaughn. Vaughn cared for his wife for who had cancer for several years until she passed away a few years ago. Vaughn has two girls and one of his daughters was in elementary school and the other daughter was a freshman in college when their Mom passed away. Seeing Vaughn’s wife suffer and eventually pass away was truly a heartbreaking experience for everyone involved. However, during her cancer trail and after she passed away, Vaughn never wavered in his faith and in fact God used the cancer trial to grow His faith, his wife’s faith and the faith of Vaughn’s children. You see that is how God works….it is in the trials of life that God draws us closer to Him. When life is going well and times are good, many of us start to put too much value on our own God-given abilities and we tend to drift from our faith in God. However, it is in the trials of life that God makes us realize our need for Him; that we are all helpless without a relationship with Him. Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us: 5 “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight”. At her “homecoming” funeral service, Vaughn was very clear that he did not want her funeral service to be a sad affair but he wanted it to be about how her faith in Christ provided her with victory over death and victory over her cancer trial. Vaughn was so convinced of this that he spoke at the service for over 30 minutes on their marriage relationship and how God used her cancer trial to humble his wife to the point she was willing to listen to the Gospel and ultimately, she accepted Jesus as her Savior during her cancer trial. When was the last time you went to a funeral service and heard a newly widowed husband speak for that length of time? It was obvious to everyone who attended the funeral that he was more concerned about the souls of others in attendance than he was about mourning his own loss. There was not a dry eye in that funeral service I can promise you that. Because they were able to clear out the clutter of their life and focus on the things in their marriage relationship which were the most important, Vaughn spoke at length at how the last few months his wife was alive were the best and most rewarding times in their marriage. Wow! His daughters were there at the funeral and listened to every word Vaughn said. He was unbelievably composed and grateful for everything which God had blessed him with while they were married. Vaughn was also using the funeral service as a platform to share his Christian beliefs, which are contrary to how most people in this world feel you should respond to the death of a spouse, in order to make a significant and eternal impact on everyone who attended the service as well as his children. It is one thing to tell your children what to do, but when they see you, in the midst of a tragedy, put your beliefs into action, that is when you can make a real impact in their lives. I have never seen anything quite like Vaughn’s testimony at his wife’s funeral before and I am sure his daughters will never forget what their dad said and did at their mom’s funeral service. Thankfully the church recorded what he said which will enable his daughters and people like me to be able to listen to the wisdom of what he said for years to come. The CD of Vaughn’s funeral homecoming speech is part of the materials we offer to folks who come to CSG.
I remember Vaughn calling me a few days after the service. As I went to pick up his call, I also remember thinking that the finality of his wife’s passing had likely sunk in and Vaughn now needed a shoulder to cry on. No! He wanted to tell me the story about how a relative or friend who rode in the family limo to/from the service and graveyard that day had committed his life to Christ. This person was so convicted by everything that happened at the funeral service that he knew he had to commit his life to Christ that day. Vaughn had prayed that the service would bring people to Christ and his prayers were definitely answered and he was SO EXCITED! Only God knows if more people will also be impacted by the events of that day. Romans 10:9 says: “If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved”. Vaughn has shared Romans 10:9 with me more times than I can possibly remember. The “Jesus is Lord” part of this verse is in just about every text I receive from him. When we spoke on the phone that day, Vaughn was beyond excited and said to me the eternal destiny of this person’s soul is one of the reasons his wife had to die – I (Vaughn) see it now. Are you kidding me? I nearly fell to the ground in disbelief when he told me this. As he was speaking to me about the reasons for his wife's passing, I thought to myself that Vaughn’s faith has grown more during his wife's cancer trial than I thought was possible but then I remember that anything is possible with God. Holding back tears, I prayed with Vaughn about this new believer. Vaughn’s faith humbles me beyond expression. How many blessings was that for the Vaughn story? I lost track there were so many….
For over 15 years, I helped with a ministry called Athletes in Action (“AIA”), which is part of Campus Crusade for Christ. I was chair of the golf committee fundraiser for the Cleveland AIA chapter. “Ted” was the ordained minister who was a full-time employee for AIA where he served as a chaplain for many of the Cleveland sports teams over the years. At the annual AIA golf outings where Ted helped raise some of the funds for his ministry endeavors, I was able to meet many professional athletes and sports executives including Mark Price, Travis Fryman, Ricky Bolden, Travis Hafner, Trent Dilfer, Courtney Brown, Butch Davis, Phil Savage, and many others. I cannot even begin to remember all of the professional athletes I met over the years, but it was a true honor and privilege to interact with them on the golf course. They were all God-fearing men who liked to golf or were willing to support the AIA ministry, and they were also uniquely and athletically gifted by God to play professional sports. They all attended one of Ted’s players or coach’s bible studies and they all used the platform (some more than others) of professional sports to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Ted has become a life-long friend of mine who I trust and seek Godly counsel from. At the end of his career with AIA, Ted focused primarily on the Cleveland Browns and yes, I know, the Browns need a lot of prayer from their chaplain. Seriously, during his time as chaplain of the Browns, Ted always talked about writing a book called “From the Sidelines”. In over 30 years of helping to minister to college and professional sports teams via AIA, Ted observed that the greatest spiritual growth usually occurs when players are going through an injury or professional sports trial. These professional athletes are not able to get into the game but, instead, viewed the game “From the sidelines”. This sideline perspective causes them a great amount of stress as the injury or trial which put them on the sideline forces them to come to grips with the reality that their professional careers may not follow the plan which they dreamed about and spent most of their lives preparing for. Ted knew that professional sports trials provided a tremendous opportunity to talk to the players and executives about their Christian faith and ministry. In other words, Ted knew that these from the sidelines trial periods provided the greatest opportunity for spiritual growth for professional athletes and executives he ministered to.
I will never forget when Ted would share with me about a certain top 10 Cleveland draft pick who would essentially run from him every time he saw that player at the Brown’s training complex in Berea, Ohio. This highly talented football player had outstanding athletic abilities, but his ego was bigger than himself. One day, this top draft pick was horsing around on his motorcycle and ended up in the hospital with a mangled body after pulling a failed stunt on his motorcycle. After this accident, the player was severely hurt and ended up spending a few nights in the hospital. Ted went and visited this player and all of a sudden Ted has a new best friend in this Browns player who isn’t hiding from him anymore. This player knew in the blink of an eye that his career might be over so Ted receives a lot of questions about God and what was going to happen to him if he was not able to fully recover. What really got to this player the most was why his teammates had all disappeared and were not visiting him in the hospital. His teammates were distancing themselves from him because of his accident. He felt alone and abandoned by his teammates and he wondered why they were not at the hospital with him. Why is it that we often abandon our friends in their times of greatest need? This player was called “stupid” by the local Ohio press media and I am sure his teammates stayed away for this reason plus they likely felt they would not know what to say to him. In the end, his teammates were likely not as good of friends as he thought they were. Unfortunately, I have also seen terminal cancer patients feel abandoned because their friends are uncomfortable and feel they won’t know what to say to someone who is dying so they just stay away from visiting them in their time of great need. I have heard a number of cancer patients say "I just want to feel loved and I just want my friends and family to touch me like they always have before". They can’t catch my cancer so why won’t they touch me anymore? Touching our loved ones is one of the ways they feel loved. Anyway, we all use excuses like we don’t know what to say to them, and I am sure they don’t want to see me anyway. God used the motorcycle accident to get the player’s attention, and to also humble him to the point where he started to seek God instead of running from God. It was likely the first time in this player’s exciting career that he finally realized that he could not do it alone, and he needed God more than he needed his players and teammates.
Similar to the theme of the proposed book called “From the Sidelines”, some of the greatest spiritual growth I have ever personally witnessed at CSG is observing an individual going through a cancer trial and how the trial causes him or her to find or grow their faith in God. If you were to ask me what was the one most important observation I could make from all my years of serving in CSG, the observation I would point to is how God uses cancer trials to draw people closer to Him. This is what the James 1:2-3 verse(s) I mentioned at the beginning of this post is getting at when it says “consider it pure joy” when you go through a (cancer) trial. God is not suggesting this joy comes naturally but it comes from your faith in Him. In other words, He is saying to consider it to be joyful as such joy is not a natural human response. Verse 4 of James 1 goes on to say “Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything”. Yes, joy comes from the growth in your faith which will blossom if you trust God and His plan even in the midst of a cancer trial. Only God knows the reasons for trials in peoples’ lives but one thing I know for certain is He is trying to draw us into a closer relationship with Him at all times, and He has the best opportunity to get our attention during a trial.
A good friend of mine, who I will call “John”, was diagnosed with Cancer (Lymphoma) in 2017. John and I served in two ministries (AIA and a Church High School Youth Group) for well over 10 years together so we know each other fairly well. John has a beautiful wife and two incredible children who were ages 10 and 7 when he was diagnosed. He is an equity partner at an investment research firm in Cleveland and is in the prime of his career. He is an elder in his Church and is also involved in other ministries. He also was a backup QB at Wheaton College for at least a year or two. I remember playing catch football with him at a youth group retreat and man could he throw the football with a lot of zip. Before he was diagnosed with Lymphoma, John had lost a lot of weight (40+ pounds) and the doctors could not figure out what was wrong with him. They surgically removed his spleen which was the size of a football and that is how he found out he had Lymphoma. In an effort to encourage him, I remember visiting him at his house with Kristina on a Sunday in 2017. He was recovering from surgery and did not move from the couch the whole time we were there. He was also trying to get stronger in order to prepare for beginning a long chemotherapy protocol. During our visit together, I made an analogy between AIA, where we both served together, and a cancer trial. Just like pro players who are given the platform of professional sports and celebrity status to share the Gospel, I suggested that people with cancer have a unique platform to share the Gospel with their family, friends and co-workers. Because of his new cancer platform, I shared with him that he had a unique opportunity to share the gospel with his family and friends by intertwining a Gospel message with his cancer updates. I also shared with him that I have seen where family and friends are more willing to listen to someone with cancer than they would be willing to otherwise. That is the potential power of the platform of cancer. I encouraged John to consider using a blogging technology called Caringbridge.org to share or blog updates during his cancer journey. God obviously put this cancer platform recommendation on John’s heart, and he began giving updates on Caringbridge every few weeks or so. John is a much better writer than I will ever be and the way he updated people on his treatments while simultaneously giving a clear presentation of the Gospel was just amazing to me. His updates were both encouraging to me yet they humbled and challenged me at the same time. His Caringbridge ministry has been both a blessing and inspiration to many. Here is an excerpt from one of his more recent postings:
There are so many other promises and truths to learn and more importantly apply, and I hope to engage in more purposeful conversations with many of you (blog readers) in the months and years to come. But I also hope that we all become seekers of truth on our own rather than speculators. Are we talkers or do we actively study God's Word? Are we non-doers or doers? It's easy to miss the truth if we aren't looking for it. And it's easy to miss Jesus if we don't pursue him.
I know his Caringbridge ministry gave him an additional purpose and motivation during his treatments and I assume it was a way for him to better deal with the challenges which a long chemotherapy protocol always brings. Luke 9:23 tells us: “Then He (Jesus) said to them all: Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.” When I read Luke 9:23, I immediately think of my friend John and his Caringbridge ministry. This ministry was also one of the inspirations for me to start writing the Cancer Support Chronicles Blog I am posting today. By the way, John’s treatments have been going well and he has a final scan on February 21, 2018 so please pray for him.
There is a woman, who I will refer to as “Jane”, on our CSG leadership team with a truly inspiring cancer journey. Jane had stage 4 lung cancer and, after enduring some more traditional cancer treatments, she was sent to hospice by her doctors as they told her there was nothing else they could do for her. I am hopeful (if she lets me) to tell her story in more detail in a future blog post, but I think it is pretty obvious that she was in pretty bad shape according to the medical professionals. In the midst of all she was going through, Jane eventually changed her eating habits to follow a macrobiotic diet. It is a more complex diet than my explanation here but this diet is designed to eliminate sugar from a person’s daily meal plan as all cancer thrives on the sugar most of us eat every day. Jane was in hospice for approximately 18 months and, at the end of her hospice care period, she was miraculously released by her hospice care team as all evidence of cancer in her body eventually disappeared. Wow! The hospice workers and medical professionals were speechless. I hesitate to use the term “miracle” but Jane was obviously graciously blessed by God with a result that is rarely seen and cannot be explained by medical professionals. If you do not believe her story is a gracious blessing from God, please just call your local hospice and ask how many of their cancer patients are released from their care each year and told not to come back. I am guessing that most hospice organizations can go many years without having a cancer patient leave their care in any way other than by dying. Jane was released from being cared for by her hospice team over 20 years ago, and today she has no evidence of cancer in her body and is not being watched by an oncologist or any other cancer medical professional. Jane feels that God used the macrobiotic diet to remove all evidence of cancer from her body. Jane, who is a nurse by training, has turned the macrobiotic diet into her daily work profession and personal ministry. She teaches people how to prepare meals the macrobiotic way and she also prepares meals weekly or bi-weekly for those who need her help. While her story of physical healing is the most amazing one I have ever been exposed to, the more astonishing outcome of her story was the fact that Jane’s cancer trial eventually caused her to consider the claims of the Gospel, to convict her of her need for a savior and convinced her to put her faith in Christ. To say Jane is thankful to God for what he did for her throughout her cancer trial would be an understatement at best. When Jane wakes up each morning and before she gets out of bed, Jane has mentioned to our group many times that her feet do not hit the ground in the morning before she bows her head and prays to God, thanking Him for another day and praising Him for His grace and provision in her life. Jane’s daily existence is centered on her cancer ministry and she is a blessing and inspiration to many in our CSG. God has an amazing plan her life, which included a gracious healing from stage 4 cancer, and it is a blessing for me to watch and observe her as she continues to bring glory to God in all that she does through her ministry. Colossians 3:17 tell us: “17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”
There was a woman who attended CSG, who I will call Lisa, who passed away in October of 2017. She was only a few years older than me, and when I remember her, I will always think of her commitment to serving others and her continuous worship of Jesus. After being humbled during the early stages of her cancer trial, she eventually gave her heart to Christ, which made dealing with the majority of her cancer trial a more peaceful process for her. She was a PHD Chemist and voraciously studied the scriptures after her Christian conversion. Many scientists are not able to commit their life to Christ because it requires faith and defies logic, which is against everything science stands for. Many scientists have told me it is like they have been trained by educational institutions to not believe. Even though she was a scientist, when Lisa had the gun of cancer pointed to her head, all logic flew out the window and she graciously believed. Praise God for her conversion. Lisa would not always make it to CSG as she could often be found helping with the 5-year old kids in the preschool and kindergarten wing at our church. As I came to learn about Lisa, she was more concerned with her commitment to serving others like the children at our church than having folks minister to her at CSG. Luke 10:38-42 tell us:
“38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the LORD's feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "LORD, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!" 41"Martha, Martha," the LORD answered, "You are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed-or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."
As the preceding versus in Luke suggests, Jesus said it is more important for (Mary) to seek Him (Jesus) and serve Him than it is to be concerned with keeping yourself (Martha) busy with the things of this world. Verse 42 tells us He (Jesus) is the only thing you need, even in a cancer trial. My friend Lisa reminded me of Mary and, how I’m was humbled and challenged her servant’s heart. She put serving others over her own needs. Until she could not do so anymore, Lisa was constantly reading and studying the scriptures, just as you would expect from a PHD Chemist. When many of our members would have been resting and recovering from a certain treatment, I would hear stories of not how the recovery was going but rather I would hear stories of how a certain scripture had touched her heart. When Lisa found out that her treatments were not working, I never heard requests for a miracle healing but, instead, I heard prayer requests that Lisa would be able to enjoy what time she had left with her family and worshiping the Lord. I would get texts from her husband about how Lisa was refusing to have hospice come into the house. I never got a chance to ask her but I’m guessing one of the main reasons was she did not want the hospice drugs, which reduce your pain but also cloud your thinking, to interfere with her quiet time and her time with her family. In other words, she did not want drugs and desires to be more comfortable to interfere with her relationship with Jesus. But of all the things she ever did, the one thing I will always remember about Lisa was when I saw her at church one Sunday morning after hospice had been called in. In 11 plus years of helping with CSG, I can’t recall seeing someone who was in hospice at church on a Sunday morning. She was in a wheelchair and could not walk or say much and I had to reach down and shake her hand as she was so sick she could not raise her arm. Even though she could barely move, she wanted to be at church worshipping God in His house. Talk about wanting to worship her Lord and savior to the very end. Lisa was beyond grateful for her relationship with Jesus and the circumstances of her cancer. Lisa’s faith also had a profound effect on her family. Her Husband and two children all saw how Lisa responded to this major trial in her life, causing them to all deepen their own personal faith. Her son is a freshman at Ohio State this year and involved in a campus ministry and I am not sure he would be as involved in campus ministry as he is, absent his Mom’s cancer trial.
It is always amazing to me how different people respond to a cancer diagnosis. I have observed that some people just get real busy and try to ignore the diagnosis. Others get depressed and lock themselves in because they have no hope. Some get angry and lash out at everyone around them, including those trying to care for them. But thankfully, as we have already mentioned, some people with cancer do turn to God. Matthew 11: 28-30 tell us:
28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Thankfully, I have seen first-hand how the preceding verses in Matthew will give someone hope when they feel the cancer has taken away their hope. I have seen people who have been told by their doctor that they are terminal and have no hope for healing and they need to get their affairs in order. I was in the hospital room with of one of our CSG members when the oncologist walked in and delivered the “your treatments are not working and please get your affairs in order news”. He was only a year or two older than I am and I will never forget the look of anguish and despair on his face when he was told this life transforming medical news. You may think you are a strong person but the “you have no hope” and “you are terminal because your body is riddled with cancer” news from a medical professional will test the souls of the strongest of men and women. I am sorry to say I have seen strong, rugged, and independent men and women break down and cry uncontrollably after being given the news that there is nothing else we (medical professionals) can do to help you. But as the verses in Matthew 28 suggest, Jesus provides eternal hope and rest for your soul to those who have no hope, at least according to the medical professionals.
In working with people who attend CSG, I have observed that a cancer diagnosis can sometimes have a way of turning an individual’s perspective on this world inside-out and upside down. Many are so traumatized by the diagnosis that they just do not know how to respond. Many are in desperate fear of their circumstances and what might eventually happen to them. Proverbs 1:7 tells us: “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; Fools despise wisdom and instruction.” It is OK to be fearful but, the ones who are able to turn their fears over to the Lord are the ones who have the best quality of life in their cancer trial. 1 Peter 5:7 says: “Cast all your anxiety on him (God) because he cares for you”. As I walk with the Lord, I recognize that His plans are usually different than mine, which are driven by my own desires and selfish aspirations. I have discovered that God poses an ominous threat to my ego, but not to me. He rescues me from my delusions, aspirations and expectations and He reveals His truth (His Word) which sets me free. He casts me down, only to lift me up again. He sits in judgment of my sin, but forgives me nevertheless. Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, but love from the Lord is its completion.
It is amazing to me how I have witnessed individuals with strong convictions about certain worldly issues and ideals and how those convictions often fly right out the window and no longer matter upon hearing the news that they are terminal and probably won’t make it. I have seen how such a diagnosis will cause changes in passionate convictions about a political party, gun control, or what college your child is going to or how far are you going to climb up the corporate ladder or any of the other things most of us worry about on a day-to-day basis….all of a sudden, those convictions no longer matter after being told you are going to die. Did the person just not believe in these so-called convictions as passionately as they claimed they did or did their cancer diagnosis give them a new perspective on how to view and interpret our world? Only God knows the answer to that question. I have been to hospice facilities many times but I have yet to have a conversation in such a facility about who is the President of the United States or what he is doing. By the way, I hope I never do have such a political conversation at a hospice facility.
Being told you have terminal cancer is like having a gun pointed to your head, and you know it is going to go off soon but you just don’t know how soon it will fire. You may think you know how you will respond if that terminal cancer gun is ever pointed directly at your head, but I can promise, you likely do not know how you will respond. Terminal cancer news will cause you to inventory your life like you never have before and you will begin to think about your own mortality more than you ever have before. Passions and interests that once seemed important no longer are important and passions and interests that never seemed important all of a sudden are important. One of the greatest blessings of a cancer diagnosis for most cancer patients is the element of time to ponder their future and consider the claims of the Gospel and what is of the upmost importance given their limited time left. 1 Corinthians 1:18 tell us: “For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.” If you are currently suffering from a Cancer trial, is the Gospel foolishness to you or is it the power of God?
Because God’s plan for each of us is different, some individuals are given more time than others. Many like me are graciously given many more years. Regardless of how much time someone with cancer is given, questions which naturally arise from individuals who are given a cancer diagnosis include these 4 sample questions:
Will the medical professionals be able to save me from my cancer?
How much time do I have left?
Is this really all there is to life?
What happens to me if I die?
Psalm 90:12 tells us: “Teach us to number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Because most of us (including me) stress about cancer so much, a cancer diagnosis can definitely help teach us to number our days. Job 4:5 also tells us: “You (God) have decided the length of our lives. You know how many months we will live, and we are not given a minute longer.” We are all going to die and even though God knows the exact minute we will pass, why is it that we worry so much about when it will happen? Only God knows the complete answer to this question of why we all worry so much, but one of the answers is so that we do not forget about Him.
So, what is the greatest blessing I have ever seen in all my years of helping with CSG? That is an easy answer and I am thankful that I have seen it happen on more than a handful occasions. What is the answer? It is when someone is so graciously humbled by their cancer experience and realizes their own sinfulness and need for a savior and commits their life to Christ so that they might have hope and find rest for their soul. Regardless of the outcome of their cancer journey, people who come to faith in the midst of a cancer trial realize that they now have a hope that is eternal and that God will never leave them nor forsake them. James 1:12 tells us: “Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love Him.” People who come to faith in Christ because of their cancer also have a much better response to the 4 sample questions (i.e., will the medical professionals be able to save me from my cancer?) I asked earlier. Knowing that they will receive the crown of life if they have a relationship with Jesus provides cancer patients with an unbelievable amount of comfort and confidence, even if they ultimately succumb to their cancer disease.
If Cancer patients have any doubt they can triumph over cancer via a relationship with Jesus, Philippians 3:12 tells us: “I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Referring to Jesus, Revelation 19:16 tells us: “And on His robe and on His thigh, He has a name written, "KING OF KINGS, AND LORD OF LORDS." Since he is the King of Kings, Jesus shares his throne with no one in this world or anywhere else. Thankfully, cancer patients are never truly terminal as they have a reward in heaven if they have a relationship with Christ the King. In fact, the bible is very clear, a personal relationship with Jesus is the only way that terminal cancer patients can get to heaven. If you ever are diagnosed with Cancer and have that terminal cancer gun pointed at your head, what are you going to believe? How much time will you be given, if any, to ponder these things? If you do not have a relationship with the King of Kings, I encourage you to investigate the claims of Jesus now, by reading the bible, and pray that he will have mercy on you and perhaps you will trust in His perfect plan.
I have tears in my eyes as I write this last paragraph. Why? Because I have witnessed more than a handful of our members say that cancer is the SINGLE GREATEST BLESSING of their whole life because it was the trial which God used to humble them to the point where they were willing to be receptive to the Gospel and convicted them of their need for a relationship with Christ. WOW!!!! Because the circumstances of cancer ultimately convinced them to put their faith Jesus, these individuals are saying that cancer was a greater blessing to them than anything else on this earth, including their children, spouse, friends and family as well as any worldly possession or accomplishment. When talking about their miraculous Christian conversion, these individuals realized that they would not have had the time or willingness to ponder their own mortality like the circumstances of cancer provided them. I have to admit the first time I ever heard “cancer is the greatest blessing of my life”, I was a little taken back and did not believe the individual who said it. By studying the James 1:2-3 verses the past 11 years and seeing many more people come to the same realization, I can now see how cancer can be the single greatest blessing in someone’s life. I certainly did not share this belief when I started my own cancer journey. Because it is not a normal human response, many will think I am crazy for promoting this cancer can be a blessing perspective here in this blog. But I have also realized that I cannot come to this level of faith by myself; I can only come to this level of faith, belief and trust with God’s help, by reading and studying His word and by trusting in His perfect plan. Thanks be to God for His word, for how it penetrates our souls and convicts us of our need for Him. Thankfully, His word also encourages us at the same time it convicts us. As a result, I am going to end this blog post where I started:
“Consider it pure joy my brothers when you face trials of many kinds as you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance”. James 1:2-3 NIV
Jim Risk, a two-time cancer survivor, is the volunteer Ministry Coordinator for the Cancer Support Group at a non-denominational church in NE Ohio. Jim and his wife, Kristina, have participated and served in CSG, a Christian ministry, since 2007.