Is Something Missing?
Have you ever achieved a goal which you can point to as a tremendous success in your life? Perhaps you had a major sports, business, philanthropic, entertainment or media accomplishment or perhaps you simply married the person of your dreams? Perhaps there is something else in your life that you can point to as a life changing accomplishment? It does not really matter what the life changing accomplishment is, as all the people who have obtained such success typically share one thing in common: they have all invested a significant amount of time, effort and resources preparing for and achieving their goal(s). After finally achieving the success they dreamed about for much of their lives, you would think that most of these successful people would be commemorating their accomplishments in way which celebrate their years of hard work, perseverance, and dedication. Some do celebrate in this way but many say “they are overwhelmed with feelings of emptiness” and “they wonder if there is something else out there”. If you are like me, you have to wonder why people who are at the pinnacle of their personal or professional lives can go on to question, after times of great triumph, “if there is something else out there”? The “Post-World Series Champions emptiness perspective” just doesn’t make any sense to most people as it goes against everything we are taught in this world about success, fame and worldly accomplishments. How in the world can someone feel so empty after achieving a life-long goal and why is it that they often comment that they don’t know how to fix it?
If you don’t believe me, here below are just a few “something is missing” real world examples:
Pro Sports Example:
Tom Brady, who is a five-time Super Bowl winning QB for the New England Patriots, said, after winning his third Super Bowl, in an April 2, 2005 interview with Steve Kroft on the TV show 60 Minutes:
(Brady) – “in a lot of ways I created this myself”
(Steve Kroft, Reporter) – “It is what you always wanted?”
(Brady) – I did not think it came with all the other baggage….I mean I am making more money than I ever thought I could make playing Football.
(Brady) – “Why do I have 3 super bowl rings and still think there is something greater out there for me.…Maybe a lot of people would say, hey, I reached my goal, my dream, my life…Me, I think, God, there has got to be more than this?”
(Kroft, Reporter) – “What is the answer?”
(Brady) – “Wish I Knew”, “Wish I knew”
If you google this Tom Brady 60 Minutes video clip, you can watch it for yourself on your computer.
Entertainment Example:
John Mayer, a contemporary music artist, released the Album “Heavier Things” in 2003. “Something is Missing” is one of the songs on the “Heavier Things” album. Here are some of the lyrics from Mayer’s “Something is Missing” song:
“I'm not alone, I wish I was, 'Cause then I'd know I was down, because I couldn't find a friend around, To love me like they do right now, They do right now, I'm dizzy from the shopping mall, I searched for joy, but I bought it all, It doesn't help the hunger pains, And a thirst I'd have to drown first to ever satiate, Something's missing, And I don't know how to fix it, Something's missing, And I don't know what it is, No I don't know what it is At all; When autumn comes, It doesn't ask, It just walks in where it left you last; You never know when it starts, Until there's fog inside the glass around, Your summer heart, Something's missing, And I don't know how to fix it, Something's missing, And I don't know what it is, No I don't know what it is, At all, I can't be sure that this state of mind, Is not of my own design, I wish there was an over-the-counter test, For loneliness, For loneliness like this, Something's missing, And I don't know how to fix it, Something's missing”
Wikipedia describes “Saudade” as a deep emotional state of nostalgic or profound melancholic longing for an absent something or someone that one loves. In other words, Saudade refers to someone or something which is absent or missing. Not only is it a word which is used to describe “something is missing”, Saudade is also celebrated, in Brazil, on January 30 as “The day of Saudade”. Yes, it appears that The Day of Saudade, the something is missing day, is even a holiday.
Why is it that someone like Tom Brady, who had just won the Super bowl for the 3rd time when he was interviewed on 60 minutes (He has won 5 total SB’s as of the writing of this blog post) and likely guaranteed himself a spot in the Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio, was still searching for “something more” after such profound professional achievements? Why is it that someone like John Mayer, who was at the top of his professional singing career when his “Something is Missing” song was produced in 2003, felt like something was missing in his life? Don’t you find these two perspectives (Brady & Mayer) I just referenced to be totally contrary to what the world teaches us about success and fame? How many self-help books have you seen while standing in line for a soda at the airport gift shop where the self-help book of the month is purporting you to take control of your life so you control your own destiny and ultimately your own happiness. The self-help business generates over $500 million annually and is growing at a phenomenal rate. If these self-help books were so helpful, why do more and more of them keep coming out? Most people don’t replace “something” unless the old “something” is not working anymore so do all the new self-help books coming out mean the old books aren’t working anymore or is it just because the new ones are so much better than the old books? I could reference countless other stories of successful professional athletes, entertainment professionals and CEO’s of Fortune 500 companies who, although are wildly successful in their professional occupations, all say “something is missing in their lives”.
Although I find the title of his website (http://ifeelstuck.co.uk) to be somewhat interesting, an anxiety therapist (John Glanville) posted the following on his website:
“What is missing in my life? So many clients tell me that something is missing from their lives – and when I ask them what it is they say “I don’t know, I can’t put my finger on it, it just feels like something is missing.” Some say that life is unfair or there are so many things that they have to do, whilst others say that you need to run faster and faster to keep up with the world and the demands of life. Other clients tell me that life is great, fine job, loving relationship, wonderful children, fun friends, yet still something is missing (and they don’t know what it is.)”
When reflecting on all of these examples I just cited, can we just agree that "the something is missing" phenomenon exists in all parts of society and is pervasive throughout the world?
The Bible tells the story of a chief tax collector named Zacchaeus, who was very wealthy according to Luke 19:2. Zacchaeus even owned his own home (Luke 19:5), which was not very common back in Roman times. Even though he had a position of power and was very wealthy, Zacchaeus longed for more in his life and wanted to see who Jesus was. Luke 19:3-4 says as follows:
“He (Zacchaeus) wanted to see who Jesus was, but because he was short he could not see over the crowd. So, he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree to see him, since Jesus was coming that way.”
When was the last time you climbed a tree? I am 52 years old and I can’t tell you the last time I went up a tree but here is Zacchaeus, a man of great wealth and power, and he was running down the street chasing after Jesus to climb a tree so he could see Him better. Zacchaeus had all the power and wealth you could want in those days but he suffered from the same emptiness which Brady and Mayer suffer from. Zacchaeus was empty because he did not have a relationship with God so he started to seek Jesus out and ended up climbing up a tree so he could see Jesus better. Luke 19:7 tells us: All the people saw this and began to mutter, “He (Jesus) has gone to be the guest of a sinner (Zacchaeus).” Zacchaeus knew of his own sinful condition (Luke 19:8 – “….and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount”) and he knew his life apart from God caused him to feel empty and longing for something more in his life. If you go on to read the rest of Luke 19, this emptiness which Zacchaeus felt, the guilt of his sin, and the hope he saw in Jesus caused him to eventually put his faith in Christ. More specifically, Luke 19:9 says: Jesus said to him, “Today salvation has come to this house……” Ultimately, Zacchaeus found rest or peace in Jesus.
Regardless if we are talking about Zacchaeus, Tom Brady, John Mayer or our own lives, we ALL have a hunger in our hearts for God — an empty place in our souls that only God can fill. Psalm 42:2 tells us:
“My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?”
Since Psalm 42:2 is the fundamental or pivotal scripture for this blog post, please think of when you are extremely thirsty and longing for a drink of water – this is what the psalmist means when he says our souls thirst for God – we all thirst for God just like the thirsty person longs for a drink of water. Have you realized that you are designed by God to be thirsty for Him? It is how He designed each and every one of us.
Most people diagnosed with cancer are blessed with time to ponder their future and what will happen if they do not make it past their cancer trial. Think about it for a minute – if you die from a heart attack or an accident, you typically die very quickly and do not have time to ponder your future. God blesses those individuals diagnosed with cancer with additional time to seek Him if they do not know him already. Yes, as the Psalmist tells us, God designed each and every one of us, including those with cancer, to thirst for Him. We feel empty, no matter the accomplishment or phase of our lives, when we are not thirsting for or actively seeking Christ the King. In other words, we are restless until we find out rest in Him (God). Psalm 62: 1-2 tells us:
“My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.”
This is why folks like Tom Brady and John Mayer state they have feelings of emptiness. The problem is that instead of turning to God and letting Him fill our souls, we often turn to other things — pleasure, fame, sports, money, sex, or drugs and alcohol. Some people even turn to false philosophies or religions, hoping these will lead them to the truth and fill the empty place in their lives. For a time, we may think they’ve found what they were looking for, but in the end, we are just left feeling empty when we chase these worldly desires and passions. Matthew 16:26 tells us:
“For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?”
Because of the tremendous uncertainty and anxiety which comes with a cancer trial, I have observed over and over again how a cancer diagnosis can cause someone to push the pause button on life as they start to ponder some of life’s bigger questions like “What will happen to my soul if I do not make it past my cancer trial?”. A cancer diagnosis can make some individuals realize that the pursuit of pleasure, fame, sports, money, sex, etc. is not as important as they originally thought. Cancer patients realize that all the power, money and fame in the world are worthless if they are not around to enjoy such prosperity. A cancer diagnosis can cause many individuals to start to earnestly seek an answer to the burning question which has been tugging at their hearts for their whole lives: “Is something missing and why?”. Individuals diagnosed with cancer generally respond to their diagnosis in one of the following ways (The following bullet points are by no means an all-inclusive list):
They ignore the cancer diagnosis altogether or they are in denial about the seriousness of their condition
They get angry
They get depressed
They pursue every worldly solution in an effort to save their own life
They put their trust in something other than God
They turn to God and put their trust in Him and His plan for their lives
Almost everyone who has been diagnosed with cancer feels some level of hopelessness. Because it is such a traumatic event in most people’s lives, I have seen how a cancer diagnosis will start to consume a patient’s thought life. In addition to thinking about their cancer challenges constantly, many patients end up angry, depressed and seeking out all sorts of radical solutions and treatments. Farah Faucet, who was diagnosed with rectal cancer in 2006, was not happy with her medical prognosis here in the USA so she flew to Germany 6 times to seek natural supplements and also immune treatments. When people don’t have a plan for life after death, they often will travel the world like Farah did looking for any treatment or solution which can extend their time here on earth. While there is nothing wrong with being a good steward of your body by seeking the best care available, the bible says it becomes a problem when “saving themselves” becomes their complete and only focus and they ignore God and the question He implanted in all of our hearts: “Is something Missing?”. Matthew 16:25 tells us:
“For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it”
Thankfully, the hopelessness that comes with a cancer diagnosis does cause some individuals to start seeking God by reading His word (bible), by hearing His word preached, by listening to the testimony of a Christian friend, or by praying to Him. Upon hearing the Gospel message, these individuals begin to realize that, even though their cancer diagnosis made them feel hopeless, Jesus actually provides them with hope. God uses the circumstances of a cancer diagnosis to turn people’s lives so upside down that some individuals, who by the grace of God are willing to hear His call, are prepared to put their faith in Christ after hearing the good news of the Gospel.
In eleven years of ministering to people with cancer, if you were to ask me what is the “one thing” which has amazed me the most about the ministry? The answer is how God uses trials to draw people closer to Him. When we are at the pinnacle of our careers and things are going well for us, we feel we don’t need God so we usually don’t seek him in times of plenty. However, it is in the trials of life where God draws people closer to Him. James 1:2-3 says the following: “Consider it pure joy my brothers when you face trials of many kinds because you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance”. Yes, trials can be considered joyful as they remind us of our need for God, who is sovereign and in control, and how we are helpless without him. God is not suggesting this joy comes naturally but it comes from your faith in Him. In other words, He is saying to consider it to be joyful as such joy is not a natural human response.
Laura Story, a Christian recording artist, reinforces this point in her song called “Blessings”:
“We pray for blessings, we pray for peace Comfort for family, protection while we sleep We pray for healing, for prosperity We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering And all the while, You hear each spoken need Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things 'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops What if Your healing comes through tears What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise”
Yes, blessings can come from raindrops and trials can be mercies in disguise. A cancer trial can be a blessing as it stirs the cancer patient’s heart and causes many such patients to start seeking answers to questions about “their eternal destiny” and “is something missing”. God knows that many of these individuals would never slow down or be willing to hear His call absent a cancer diagnosis and the associated trials and tribulations which come with battling cancer.
When reflecting on how cancer can be a blessing to someone diagnosed with terminal cancer, I am reminded of two people (Jeremy & Lisa) who were both diagnosed with terminal cancer. After searching for answers to questions like “is something missing”, they both ended up with different answers to their questions about the eternal destiny of their souls.
I am first reminded of Jeremy who was a friend of mine who attended our CSG ministry. Jeremy was battling male breast cancer until he died in early 2018. Since we both had similar personalities and senses of humor, Jeremy and I always had a good relationship and we enjoyed making each other laugh. As his health slowly declined, it was a humbling privilege for me to visit him and his wife in their home 3 days before he died. After reasoning with Him to again consider the good news of the Gospel during that home visit shortly before his death, Jeremy explained to me that he had lived all over the world and had been exposed to many different religions. After considering these different religious perspectives, Jeremy said he did not believe in the exclusivity of the Gospel (Christian) message and that he found merit in the beliefs of all the religions which he had been exposed to. In other words, he never made a decision on which religion he wanted to put his faith in. He heard God’s call but, in the end, he was unwilling to commit to an answer or make a decision. I am not sure if it was because he never took enough time to investigate each of these religions he was investigating so he could better comprehend them or if it was because of some other reason but he was essentially making up his own religion by not making a choice on which religion he ultimately believed in. He ended up in the undecided category which is the same category as those who reject Jesus altogether. I went to dictionary.com and synonyms for undecided include: unresolved, uncertain, unsure, unclear, unsettled, indefinite, undetermined, and unknown. Sadly, Jeremy left this earth with no plan for the eternal destiny of his soul. Personally, I find this to be extremely sad and alarming. When faced with the most important “election” of his life while struggling with questions like “is there more than this” and “is something missing”, Jeremy ultimately did not cast a vote.
I am also reminded about my friend Lisa, who died from her cancer in 2017. She was a PHD Chemist who voraciously studied the scriptures after her Christian conversion. But of all the things she ever did, the one thing which I will always remember about Lisa was when I saw her at church one Sunday morning after hospice had been called in. In 11 plus years of helping with CSG, I can’t recall seeing someone who was in the care of hospice who was physically able to make it to church on a Sunday morning. To say she dragged herself to church would be an understatement - She was in a wheelchair and could not walk or say much and I had to reach down and shake her hand as she was so sick she could not raise her arm. Even though she could barely move, she wanted to be at church worshipping God in His house. She knew her time on earth was coming to an end yet she wanted to worship her Lord and savior to the very end. Lisa was beyond grateful for her relationship with Jesus and she was very vocal about her faith in Him. She was thankful that God used the circumstances of cancer to cause her to start seeking answers to questions like “is something missing” and “what will happen to my soul if I die from my cancer trial”. Ultimately, this search resulted in Lisa’s heart being humbled to the point that she was willing to being receptive to the Gospel and, as a result, she ultimately put her faith in Christ. Yes, Lisa realized that cancer ended up being the biggest blessing ever in her life as God used the circumstances of cancer to draw her into a personal relationship with Him. 1 Peter 1: 3-6 tells us:
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.”
The final responses of Jeremy and Lisa, as stated to me by each of them, are diametrically opposed to each other. They both felt the same emptiness in their hearts when they were first diagnosed with cancer and they both sought answers to the same burning “what happens if I don’t make it” and “is something missing” questions. Ultimately, Lisa gave her heart to Christ yet Jeremy did not. Lisa had hope and a plan for life after death yet Jeremy was undecided and did not have a plan. Lisa could point to biblical references supporting her decision such as the “into a living hope” reference in 1 Peter 1: 3-6 quoted above yet Jeremy had no “business case” or “third-party evidence” supporting his “undecided” decision. Although they both voiced their final faith perspectives to me directly, I was only exposed to small parts of each of their cancer trials so my perspective was finite at best. Even though my perspective was limited and realizing that only God knows the ultimate fate of each of their souls, it appeared to me that Lisa was way more diligent in seeking and researching answers to these burning questions like “is something missing”. Jeremy was willing to seek but he did not appear to be as diligent to me as Lisa was. Faith in Christ also requires you to admit you are a sinner, that He is in Control and you are not and that you are willing to humble yourself before Him and put your faith in Him. Perhaps Jeremy did not want to give up control or perhaps he was unwilling to humble himself before God? At the end of his life and in his final hours, Jeremy was still unwilling to put his faith in Christ. Regardless of the reasons for his decision, the bible says Jeremy’s heart had hardened or become calloused: Matthew 13:15 tells us:
“For this people's heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.”
In the end, Lisa had a plan for the eternal destination of her soul and Jeremy did not. Lisa’s research consumed her after she was diagnosed with cancer and she had many years to consider her options and she decided early on in her cancer trial to put her faith in Christ and Him alone for her eternal hope and salvation. Ultimately, the bible says, we will all bow our knee and confess that Jesus is Lord. Philippians 2:10-11 tells us:
“….so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”
Will you be like Lisa and willingly confess that He is your Lord and savior? If not, the bible says there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth (Matthew 13:50). In order to avoid such eternal heartbreak, do you have a plan for the eternal destiny of your soul? If you do not have a plan, I encourage you to please consider the good news of the Gospel before you heart becomes calloused like Jeremy’s heart became.
God desires a relationship with each and every one of us. He wants us ALL to long and thirst for Him. Lord, I pray that even in the midst of a cancer trial when our lives are not going according to OUR plan for OUR lives, please help us to THIRST for you and please help us to realize that we are ALL left with feelings of emptiness and with the perception that something is missing in OUR lives absent a personal relationship with you, the living God who is Christ the King.
“My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?” Psalm 42:2
Jim Risk, a two-time cancer survivor, is the volunteer Ministry Coordinator for the Cancer Support Group (CSG) at a non-denominational church in NE Ohio. Jim and his wife, Kristina, have participated and served in CSG, a Christian ministry, since 2007.