If you have ever been diagnosed with cancer or cared for or loved someone who was diagnosed with cancer, what did your cancer trial experience teach you? Did it change how you live your life or how you spend your time each day? Did it change your belief system, which are the things in this world you believe right or wrong and/or true or false? Did it motivate change in other areas of your life? I have been ministering to hundreds of people with cancer since 2007 and I have seen all sorts of responses to this important question about lessons learned from a cancer trial(s). However, I recently read an interesting article in The Cleveland Plain Dealer newspaper which addressed this question about lessons learned head on. Robert L. Smith, aka “Dr. Bob,’ authored this article in The Plain Dealer newspaper. Dr. Bob holds a doctorate degree and is director of the Medical Staff Assistance Programs at The MetroHealth Hospital System in Cleveland, Ohio where his role is to serve the more than four hundred physicians and approximately three hundred residents working in the MetroHealth System. Below is his September 17, 2021, opinion article, “Six years, four encounters with cancer, a few lessons” (Note: The same article – it was identical except for the title - I received in the newspaper, which was delivered to my house, was titled “Lessons for your journey, learned while facing cancer”):
“CLEVELAND -- During the past six years, I have been on a journey with cancer that’s included the treatment trifecta: chemo, radiation and surgery. I would like to share some reflections, not about me or my illness but about each of us and how we cope. We all face difficulties: illness; injury; death; loss of a child; loss of a job; struggling with an abusive relationship. The list is endless. Together, we can learn to adjust, adapt and be resilient. My journey involves four encounters with cancer. The keystone to my coping has been family, friends, co-workers, and patients. I am a psychologist and I have taught positive psychology, resilience, Buddhist philosophy and other supportive paths to healing and understanding. My cancer experience requires me to fully embrace what I teach. I am telling everyone about my cancer and encouraging them to share with others. This way we can discuss, openly and honestly. Next, I am confronting my biggest challenges. No, it is not my cancer. It is my ego, desire to control, personal attachments and core beliefs. My first episode with cancer taught me to let go of my egotistical perspective. “How can this happen to me?” “This isn’t fair!” “I don’t deserve this!” Really? How could I ever ask this? No one deserves cancer! I am working to accept that aging and becoming ill go together; it is a natural process. It will happen no matter what I do or who I am. My second round of cancer forced me to face that I have no control beyond my own actions. I can invest in the process, but I have no control over the outcome. Fortunately, my providers are compassionate, encouraging, and honest. Each time, I want to believe that I can “beat” cancer. I am determined to be in control, but cancer is beyond my control. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot control or predict the future. The third round brought to light the concept of impermanence. Everything changes, and everything goes away. My first reaction to this message is to desperately grab onto the people I love and the things I value. This is a tiresome and futile process, filling me with anxiety. I am learning to live in the moment by studying and practicing mindfulness. It works! Fourth time is the charm. My next surgery is September 9, 2021. By the time you read this, that surgery will be behind me. [Editor’s note: Dr. Bob’s colleagues at MetroHealth report that “his surgery went well and that he is eager to return to his work helping our region’s caregivers.”] The new challenge is acknowledging my core beliefs. I teach that “it does not matter what is true or real. We act based upon what we believe.” I am admitting that my stated beliefs are often “window dressing,” politically correct and socially acceptable. An honest appraisal reveals I am not always living according to these beliefs. Today, I carefully consider how I can embrace honesty, trust, respect, equality, love, and compassion. I want to be a genuine and giving person. I am determined. It is not easy, but this process is within my control. I strive to appreciate the gifts around me – a sunrise, the laughter of my grandchildren, a hug and kiss from my wife, chats with family and friends, a good joke, a touching movie, a sunset. With this perspective, I am filled with gratitude, joy, and peace. I hope these words give you encouragement and hope as you continue your journey.
Before I analyze the overall message of the preceding article, let me start by saying that Dr. Bob holds a PHD, he is a clinical psychologist, and he teaches at the Case Western Reserve University Medical School. Even though I received a Master of Business Administration (MBA) from Case Western Reserve University, his credentials are far more impressive than mine, and are certainly more relevant when discussing psychological and emotional responses to a cancer trial. He even has more personal experience with facing cancer trials than me as evidenced by the fact that I have had cancer twice and he has had it four times. Furthermore, he is currently undergoing a cancer trial while it has been over ten years since my last cancer trial. He is obviously a very resilient person, he is an incredibly accomplished professional in the field of psychology, and his article contains excellent advice and valuable lessons learned.
I will start my analysis of his article with a summary of his comments and/or points which I agree with. I completely agree with his comment that the biggest challenge of a cancer trial is not the cancer disease itself, but it is how we respond to the cancer trial. As he so eloquently and accurately stated, our egos, our desires to control, our personal attachments and our core beliefs are our biggest challenges. In fact, I will spend considerable time discussing his beliefs in this blog post. He is also spot on when he said we have no control over the outcome of our cancer trials, and we cannot control or predict the future. He alludes to death, without mentioning the word death, when he discusses “impermanence” by saying “everything changes, and everything goes away.” Therefore, since we are all terminal as evidenced by the fact that we will all eventually die, I agree with his impermanence comments that everything in this world is going to pass away. I, like Dr. Bob, have personally seen how a cancer trial can cause cancer patients to desperately grab onto to the people they love and the things they value and how this tiresome, futile process causes them great anxiety. Finally, I agree with his comment that we act based on what we believe.
I will now focus my analysis on a summary of the comments and/or points in his article which either contradict each other, are confusing and/or need more clarification. When I read his article and reflect on what was said in it, it becomes apparent to me that he is still searching for someone or something which will provide him with true hope as he embarks on his fourth cancer trial journey. For example, towards the end of his article, he states his new challenge is acknowledging his core beliefs. He admits that his stated beliefs are “window dressing,” politically correct and socially acceptable and that he is struggling to live according to these beliefs. I am not sure exactly what this next comment means, but he goes on to say he is considering embracing honesty, trust, respect, equality, love, and compassion. For example, how do you embrace “trust”? To me, trust is a person on whom or thing on which you rely upon. Therefore, you cannot receive trust which is what his embracing comment suggests. He also says he is determined to be a genuine and giving person, but he also indicates that “it is not an easy process.” Furthermore, do his “considering” comments suggest he is “on the fence” regarding embracing these qualities? I also find it interesting that he provides two different perspectives on “control.” Earlier in his article, he states his cancer is beyond his control, but, towards the end of his article, he states that his process or response is within his control. Since he admits he is not in control of his cancer, the obvious question here is “WHO” is in control of his cancer? Therefore, why doesn’t he ask and/or address this especially important and obvious question in his article? He is 100% correct when he says that a cancer trial should teach us that we should appreciate the gifts or blessings which are around us and how this type of response should bring us gratitude and joy. However, contrary to what Dr. Bob says about his new perspective bringing him “peace,” the bible tells us that counting our blessings will not bring us peace with God. Romans 5:1-2 (ESV) tells us:
“1 Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God.”
In the preceding two verses in Romans, verse one tells us there is only one way we can have peace with God and that is through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Verse two goes on to tell us that our faith in Christ will also bring God’s GRACE, which is commonly referred to as “God’s Riches at Christ’s Expense.” If we have faith in Christ, the second half of verse two tells us that we can “rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.” In other words, a personal relationship with Jesus Christ provides everyone who believes in Him with an eternal hope promised by God in the preceding two verses in Romans. Therefore, if you end up succumbing to your cancer trial, the bible tells us that you can rest in the promises of God, who promises eternal life to all who have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.
When I reflect on Dr. Bob’s article, I find it interesting that he wants to share his beliefs, yet he openly discusses how he is not in control, how his beliefs keep changing or evolving, and how he is considering implementing these new beliefs. Since he is now on version 4.0 of his beliefs, is it reasonable to assume that his beliefs will change yet again as he continues his cancer trial journey? Does he really believe that striving to appreciate the gifts around him will bring him peace? I am assuming he is referring to “peace” as an emotional wellbeing frame of mind and that he does not view “peace” as “peace with God,” which is the way the bible defines peace. I do not believe that a gratitude perspective, which is the cornerstone of his 4.0 version of his core beliefs, will bring him peace if his health continues to deteriorate, and I doubt that he does as well. Additionally, the bible tells us that a gratitude perspective will not bring him peace with God. Furthermore, I have been ministering to people with cancer for over 14 years, and I can promise you that an evolving set of beliefs will not bring anyone with terminal cancer any hope or eternal peace when considering the prospect that they might end up succumbing to their cancer trial.
I also find it interesting that he does not discuss death, or the implications of death should he end up succumbing to his latest cancer trial. I probably think about death more than most people my age because I have survived two different cancer trials. I wonder if Dr. Bob thinks about death as much as I do since he has survived four different cancer trials. Thankfully, I did not read anything in his article which indicates that he is terminal. However, even though his article does not indicate that he is terminal, why doesn’t he at least address the possibility that he might one day perish from one of his cancer trials? Perhaps he plans to address this potential outcome in version 5.0 of his beliefs? Perhaps he does not yet have an answer to this important mortality question? Perhaps he so scared of death that he just plans on ignoring this outcome, which is guaranteed for all of us, for now? Only he knows what his reasons are for avoiding the topic of his own mortality in this opinion article, but it is a glaring omission for a four-time cancer survivor. How do I know this? Cancer patients, even though they may or may not admit to doing so, will likely ponder their own mortality more than they ever have done so previously (i.e., pre-cancer) in their lives. Why? The bible tells us that God designed man to fear death more than anything in this world and a cancer diagnosis has a way of bringing these God designed fears to the forefront of a man’s mind. Proverbs 16:25 tells us:
25. There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.
What Dr. Bob wrote in his article seems right to him, but his beliefs and his plans for his life are not supported by the scriptures. Furthermore, the preceding verse in Proverbs tell us that putting our trust in man’s plans will lead to death. Only God knows why Dr. Bob is currently promoting his 4.0 version of his beliefs and only God knows his heart. Therefore, if Dr. Bob is not trusting in God’s plan for his life as his article suggests, it might have something to do with the fact that Dr. Bob is not yet terminal, or it might be because he believes he still has time to figure all of this out. My prayer is that God will continue to use the circumstances of his cancer trials to draw Dr. Bob into a personal relationship with Jesus. How could this happen? I have personally observed how a terminal diagnosis takes the fears associated with a cancer diagnosis up another notch and can radically change the beliefs of the cancer patient. I am the ministry coordinator for a cancer support group, and we have quite a few of members of our group who have stated they are currently battling terminal cancer. If I showed up to our monthly meetings stating that the key to peace is having a perspective of gratitude, these terminal cancer patients would not return to any future cancer support group meetings. We are all going to die one day so we all have a terminal diagnosis. For this reason, my prayer is that Dr. Bob will come to faith in Christ before it is too late.
Even though Dr. Bob admits he is not in control of his cancer trial, including the outcome of his cancer trial, he still seems to be struggling with the concept of control. He openly states he is not in control of his cancer trial yet his closing comments state “this process is within my (his) control.” I would love to be able to ask him WHO he believes is in control of his cancer. “WHO is in control” is an especially important question, and Dr. Bob’s answer will determine if he is able to acknowledge God’s sovereign control over his life and over his cancer trial. You cannot come to faith in Christ unless you believe He is the son of the sovereign God and that His plan of salvation can save you from this world and from your sins. Matthew 16:25 tells us:
“For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”
The preceding verse in Matthew tells us that if we try to save ourselves by developing our own life plans, which do not include God, then we will lose out on the opportunity of having eternal life. However, if we are willing to admit that we are not in control of our lives and God is, and if we are willing to lay down life itself, for the sake of Christ and the Gospel, we can be graciously gifted eternal life as promised by God in the preceding verse and elsewhere in the bible. As I already mentioned, “WHO is in control of his life” is a particularly important question that Dr. Bob does not address in his article. In fact, Dr. Bob admits at the end of his article that he still wants to be in control as evidenced by his “this process is within my control” comment. As you can see, Dr. Bob’s “this process is within my control” comments directly conflict with the scriptures. The bible is either the inspired word of God or it is the biggest lie to ever hit this world, but it cannot be half true or partially correct. 2 Timothy 3:16 (ESV) tells us:
“All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness”
Since many of Dr. Bob’s points in his article directly conflict with the scriptures, it is an undeniable conclusion that they (Dr. Bob and the bible) cannot both be correct.
There are three separate ways you can respond to the message of the Gospel. You can:
1. Admit that you are a sinner and that you are not in control of your life, but God is, and then graciously accept the message of the gospel in your heart
2. Deny there is a God and/or reject the gospel, deciding instead to retain control of your life by following your own plans for your life
3. Delay making the decision about the gospel message until tomorrow, deciding to retain control of your own life by following your own plans for your life for the time being
Unfortunately, both numbers two and three above will result in the same unfortunate ending, which is rejection of the gospel message. As we learned earlier, Matthew 16:25 tells us that these two responses lead to death. I am not smart enough to know all the reasons why cancer patients choose numbers two and three referenced above, but a common reason I have observed over the years is cancer patients not wanting to give up control of their lives. Dictionary.com defines control as “the act or power of controlling; regulation; domination or command.” We all naturally covet control as it makes us feel dominate and in command of our lives. It is only natural to not want to give up our perceived control as it gives us a false sense of power. Perceived control can be exceedingly difficult for you to give up because it is so intoxicating when positive life circumstances make it seem like you are actually in control of your life. It is only natural to have goals for our lives, but our goals do not always match up with God’s perfect plan for our lives. Control issues, like what Dr. Bob is experiencing, inevitably arise when our goals and plans are drastically different from God’s plan for our lives. Cancer, however, has a way of opening our eyes and making us realize that we are not in control of our lives, but God is. Based on what he wrote in his article, it does not appear that Dr. Bob has come to this realization regarding control of his life. In other words, it does not appear that he is not yet ready to admit that God is in control of his life, and he is not. I will pray for him in this regard, and I hope you will as well.
So, why would I be discussing all of this on Christmas? You might be thinking to yourselves that I am ruining your holiday with such a morbid discussion on a day which is supposed to be a joyful celebration with family and friends. However, as we just discussed, Christ was born into this world so that all who believe in Him may have the promise of eternal life. Yes, the true meaning of Christmas is not about all the presents and family gatherings. Instead, Christmas is an annual birthday celebration about a savior who was born into this world to provide peace between God and man. It is common occurrence for churches to study Luke Chapter 2, which is one of the chapters in the gospels that describes the birth of Christ, during the Christmas holiday season. One of the most popular verses in this chapter is Luke 2:11 (ESV) which tells us:
“11 For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord”
Luke chapter 2 goes on to discuss an elderly man in Jerusalem named Simeon. As you will see, it talks about how Simeon responded to meeting the newborn baby Jesus. Luke 25 to 35 ESV tells us:
"25 Now there was a man in Jerusalem, whose name was Simeon, and this man was righteous and devout, waiting for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was upon him. 26 And it had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not see death before he had seen the Lord's Christ. 27 And he came in the Spirit into the temple, and when the parents brought in the child Jesus, to do for him according to the custom of the Law, 28 he took him up in his arms and blessed God and said,
29 “Lord, now you are letting your servant depart in peace, according to your word; 30 for my eyes have seen your salvation 31 that you have prepared in the presence of all peoples, 32 a light for revelation to the Gentiles, and for glory to your people Israel.”
33 And his father and his mother marveled at what was said about him. 34 And Simeon blessed them and said to Mary his mother, “Behold, this child is appointed for the fall and rising of many in Israel, and for a sign that is opposed 35 (and a sword will pierce through your own soul also), so that thoughts from many hearts may be revealed.”
Here is what GotQuestions.org has to say about the preceding verses:
“When Mary and Joseph went to the temple in Jerusalem to follow the requirements of the law after the birth of Jesus, they met Simeon, an elderly man who “was righteous and devout. He was waiting for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was on him” (Luke 2:25). The consolation of Israel refers to the promised Messiah. To console is to alleviate grief or to take away a sense of loss or trouble. The Messiah, the consolation of Israel, was to remove sorrow and comfort the nation. Simeon and generations before him waited for the coming of the One who would console God’s people. Isaiah predicted that the Messiah would take on the ministry of consolation: “Comfort, comfort my people, says your God. Speak tenderly to Jerusalem, and proclaim to her that her hard service has been completed, that her sin has been paid for” (Isaiah 40:1–2). God revealed to Simeon that he would not see death until he beheld the Lord’s Christ (Luke 2:26), the comforter of Israel who would fulfill all the promises of the Abrahamic and Davidic covenants, the One who would bring both personal and national salvation. After all those years of waiting and praying for the consolation of Israel, God allowed Simeon to hold the Messiah in his arms. In this child, Simeon saw the fulfillment of all the hopes and dreams of the Jewish people down through the centuries, and he was overjoyed.”
Since Simeon was an elderly man, he did not want to die before he had a chance to meet the promised Messiah. Since we do not live in biblical times, we do not have a chance to physically meet the promised Messiah like Simeon did. However, as I discussed previously in the Romans 5:1-2 section of this blog post, there is only one way we can have peace with God and that is through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.
A popular Christmas song, which I enjoy listening to, is a song called “Mary did you know?” The Lyrics, words and music are by Mark Lowry and Buddy Greene, and it is arranged by Tom Fettke. Here is the first stanza of Mary did you know?
“Mary, did you know that your baby boy Would one day walk on water?
Mary, did you know that your baby boy Would save our sons and daughters?
Did you know that your baby boy Has come to make you new;
This Child that you delivered Will soon deliver you?”
Did you catch that last verse where it says this Child, Jesus, will soon deliver you? This is referring to the fact that Jesus can deliver all who believe in him from their fear of death. Hebrews 2:15 ESV, which is talking about Jesus, tells us:
“15 and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death"
If you are in the middle of a cancer trial, I would encourage you to not be like Dr. Bob, who is struggling with what he believes, who does not admit to God’s sovereignty, and who is unwilling to address the subject of death and the implications of it. Rather, I would encourage you to be like Simeon, who declared in verses 29 and 30 of Luke chapter two that “now you are letting your servant depart in peace…for my eyes have seen your salvation”. Simeon longed to meet the promised Messiah and my hope is that you will desire to have a personal relationship with Jesus as well. If you are facing a cancer trial on this Christmas day, do you, like Simeon, rest in the promises of God, who promises eternal life to all who have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ?
“For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord” (Luke 6:25 ESV)
Jim Risk, a two-time cancer survivor, is the volunteer Ministry Coordinator for the Cancer Support Group (CSG) at a non-denominational church in NE Ohio. Jim and his wife, Kristina, have participated and served in CSG, a Christian ministry, since 2007.
PS – Most of the biographical information in the preceding blog post was taken from his opinion article. I should point out that his LinkedIn page indicates that Dr. Bob left MetroHealth in July of 2021 and is now self-employed as a clinical psychologist and addiction specialist. He is also a consultant for The American Hospital Association Health Research and Educational Trust. I do not know if he retired from MetroHealth or if the circumstances of his 4th cancer trial forced him to leave his employment at the hospital.
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